IR – New Polls Show Economy Really Is Affecting College Decisions

College admissions boards have been worried that the financial state of the country will drastically affect the way students choose their colleges. Some may be less able to afford a private institution and will more deeply consider applying to state colleges, while others may put college plans on hold altogether and search for a job. To say the least, students are taking extra care to weigh the cost-to-value ratio of all the colleges they may potentially apply to. A current survey of over 1000 students reveals that over 16% of students have changed their college plans due to the current economy. While many of these come from lower-income families, a significant number of middle class families are likewise affected, somewhat even more so since lower-income families receive more financial aid from colleges than middle-class families do. Many more students are considering living at home and commuting to college – about 21%. It is said that high school counselors expect to see drops in the amount of students attending private universities because of the price difference.

The economy is bound to affect the college-picking process – it is only sensible that during times of financial hardship, families must weigh the value of each college more intently. Being in the college searching stage myself, financial aid is definitely one of the key factors I look at when researching or visiting a college, especially since I would rather go to an amazing school which will not bury me in loans after I graduate than an amazing school which would bury me neck high in loans for the same education. It is a difficult narrowing process, but I am set on finding a college that will suit me well, provide me with an education, and is affordable. 78% of students, like me, never even considered putting off college. The financial crisis will pass, and we cannot allow it to defer us from our college plans; instead, we must work around it and find paths to success.

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Heart of Darkness 5 – The Horror!

During the night, Marlow hears yells and gets up to see what caused them. He knows that Kurtz is not in his bed and sets out to find him – “I was circumventing Kurtz as though it had been a boyish game” (Conrad 148).

Marlow comes across Kurtz in the wilderness, weak and feeble. They face each other for seconds, minutes, moments – who knows? The woods were surrounded by savages, tempting Kurtz to stay as he finds himself in the midst of two worlds, trapped in a circuitous path between light and dark. This pathetic creature lay before Marlow, emitting vibes of savagery and animosity, yet also of a keen intelligence and suavity – “his soul was mad” (149). A blazing fire is ignited within Kurtz’s own soul – he is torn by civilization and by the life he has led among the savages. Marlow “saw the inconceivable mystery of a soul that knew no restraint, no faith, and no fear, yet struggling blindly with itself” (150). Even though Kurtz allows Marlow to take him inside to lie on the couch and finally to take him away – back to “his” world – Kurtz is still reluctant, as if he is being torn away from a part of himself. As Kurtz was departing on the ship, the savages formed a throng, flowing out of the woods, yelling and shouting in “amazing words that resembled no sounds of human language” (150). Kurtz has an impalpable connection to these people. When Marlow asks if Kurtz can understand their cries, Kurtz shows a knowing smile, as if he understands it all. “He kept looking out past me with fiery, longing eyes, with a mingled expression of wistfulness and hate. He made no answer, but I saw a smile, a smile of indefinable meaning, appear on his colourless lips” (151). Kurtz is weak and dying, and the ship’s stop for repairs is noxious to his already failing health, for his confidence of survival is lowered.

Marlow and the other shipmates believed that they saved Kurtz from the heart of darkness, but did they truly succeed in retrieving Kurtz from the heart of darkness, or simply bring him further from the light into an impenetrable darkness? Immediately after Kurtz’s death, Marlow describes the sky outside to be “se beastly, beastly dark” (154). Kurtz had wanted to stay in the heart of darkness; he craved the genuine spirit – the truth of nature.

Then, after all the buildup, Kurtz lies dead – breathless – his ideas and voice left soughing in the wind. Marlow remains loyal to Kurtz, believing him to have been a remarkable man, for he spoke – his voice was heard. Marlow’s description of Kurtz reveals his true essence: “I had a vision of him on the stretcher, opening his mouth voraciously, as if to devour all the earth with all its mankind. He lived then before me; he lived as much as he had ever lived – a shadow insatiable of splendid appearances, of frightful realities; a shadow darker than the shadow of the night, and draped nobly in the folds of a gorgeous eloquence” (159).

Kurtz gave Marlow a bunch of papers and documents before his death, the last of which Marlow brings to a woman, seemingly Kurtz’s lover, a year after his death. This woman loved Kurtz more than anything, and was absolutely positive that she understood him more than anyone. But I do not believe so – can a man as complex as Kurtz possibly be understood? The woman was filled with triumph when Marlow lied to her, telling her that Kurtz’s last words were her name – indeed, she needed him to say this to fulfill her own self-importance – she needed to believe that Kurtz needed her. Yet, Kurtz’s true last words reveal his life’s message, journey, plan. “The horror!” (164) Yes, the world was full of horror – horror that he witnessed, that he aimed to destroy. As his society and civilization pulled him further out of the place he had resided, the supposed “heart of darkness”, Kurtz gave in to death, for he was actually being pulled from the light – from the hope he had invested in a changing society. They severed his connection to the “savages” and plunged him deeper and deeper into the true heart of darkness, which eventually consumed and suffocated his once promising life.

PG:

Noxious (153) – harmful or injurious to health or physical well-being

Impalpable (154) – incapable of being perceived by the sense of touch; intangible

Circuitous (156) – circular, winding, indirect, meandering

Suave (156) – smoothly agreeable or polite; agreeably or blandly urbane

Sough (162) – to make a rushing, rustling, or murmuring sound

Heart of Darkness 4 – Idols

As Marlow continues in his tale, his true character is reveals more and more prudence. When Marlow disposes of his dead helmsman, he does so with a heavy heart, although he brusquely lugs him overboard, Marlow saves his flesh from the teeth of the cannibals aboard the ship. Marlow reveals some compassion for the dead man – a peculiar mix of compassion and indifference. “I hugged him from behind, desperately. Oh! He was heavy, heavy; heavier than any man on earth, I should imagine. Then, without more ado I tipped him overboard” (129). Perhaps Marlow means that he was heavy with character – heavy with soul. Maybe he subconsciously realizes that these men are less savage than the “humans” he knows.

As Marlow approaches the station, a man on shore beings yelling at them to land; Marlow thinks he looks like a harlequin. This man is very chatty with Marlow and Marlow wonders if he is overcompensating for the usual silence. “’Don’t you talk with Mr. Kurtz?’ I said. ‘You don’t talk with that man – you listen to him,’ he exclaimed with severe exaltation” (132). This reveals that Mr. Kurtz has a dominating nature. The man talking to Marlow gabs on and on and Marlow discovers that he had run away from school and gone to sea on both Russian and English ships. Marlow gave the man the book he had found near his old house, and discovers that the margin notes were not in cipher but in Russian. Marlow inquires why the savages attacked his ship and the man replies, “They don’t want him to go” (133), referring to Mr. Kurtz.

It seems that the natives worship Kurtz, even though his actions are detrimental to their people, all of whom lead tenebrous lives of destitution. “The camps of these people surrounded the place, and the chiefs came every day to see him. They would crawl… ‘I don’t want to know anything of the ceremonies used when approaching Mr. Kurtz,’ I shouted” (138). The image of “savages” crawling towards Mr. Kurtz becomes too much for Marlow to handle, who refuses to idolize this man who brought such destruction. Marlow had been “transported into some lightless region of subtle horrors, where pure, uncomplicated savagery was a positive relief, being something that had a right to exist – obviously – in the sunshine” (139). He had been transported into the very heart of darkness, and he wanted out.

Marlow envies the young Russian’s sense of adventure, but he “did not envy him his devotion to Kurtz…The man filled his life, occupied his thoughts, swayed his emotions” (134-135). Marlow does not wish to be as connected to this evil being as the young Russian seems to be.

Near the end of the section, the Russian man tells Marlow that it was Mr. Kurtz who ordered the attack on his steamer, because he did not want to leave his station.

PG:

Prudent (131) – wise or judicious in practical affairs; sagacious; discreet or circumspect

Harlequin (131) – a buffoon

Tenebrous (142) – dark; gloomy; obscure

Destitution (134) – deprivation, lack, or absence

Brusque (137) – abrupt in manner; blunt; rough

Heart of Darkness 3 – Savagery

“When you have to attend to things of that sort, to the mere incidents of the surface, the reality…fades. The inner truth is hidden – luckily, luckily” (106). When one cannot attest to the inner workings of a being, reality does indeed fade, for one cannot know all there is to know from the mere surface. We are constantly bereaved of the truth, hence we embark on the journey further and further into minds and souls, seeking the reality of a person – for this is why we penetrate “deeper and deeper into the heart of darkness” (108). Ambiguity rings through the drum rolls behind Marlow and his men – “whether it meant war, peace, or prayer, we could not tell” (108). The mystery follows Marlow in his journey.

Marlow is excited when he comes across the book An Inquiry into some Points of Seamanship, with margin notes in a cipher. Heading towards Kurtz’s station, the men come across a sand bank which they can either sail to the right or left of; Marlow decides to head for the western passage because the station is on the west side, however, as he goes farther along, he realizes that the passageway is narrower than he thought. As he tries to maneuver the passage, people begin to shoot arrows at the ship from the bushes. Once the fusillade has quelled, Marlow’s helmsman lies dead upon the ship, and Marlow assumes that Mr. Kurtz is dead by this time as well. It is then that he realizes he had been looking forward not to seeing Mr. Kurtz, but hearing him – “the man had presented himself as a voice” (123). Yet, Marlow is wrong about Mr. Kurtz, for he is still very much alive, and Marlow will have the opportunity to hear his voice. It seems to me that Marlow idolizes Mr. Kurtz.

There is quite a bit of philosophy in this section, concerned with humanity. “There you could look at a thing monstrous and free…they howled and leaped, and spun, and made horrid faces; but what thrilled you was just the thought of their humanity…if you were man enough you would admit to yourself that there was in you just the faintest trace of a response to the terrible frankness of that noise, a dim suspicion of there being a meaning in it which you…could comprehend” (108-109). We want to believe in the innate intrepidity of mankind, and not in its perdition, but Conrad reveals that there is savagery in every man, on a rudimentary level. We all have tumultuous tendencies, whether we reveal them or not. “Don’t you know the devilry of lingering starvation, its exasperation torment, its black thoughts, its somber and brooding ferocity?” (116) If the circumstances warrant it, Conrad believes the savage could come out in anyone.

PG:

Intrepidity (109) – resolutely fearless; dauntless

Tumultuous (113) – marked by disturbance and uproar

Bereavement (116) – to deprive and make desolate

Perdition (116) – a state of final spiritual ruin; loss of the soul; damnation

Fusillade (122) – a simultaneous or continuous discharge of firearms

Innate (126) – existing in one from birth; inborn; native

Rudimentary (128) – elementary

Heart of Darkness 2 – As if in a Dream

Racism is extremely prevalent in this novella, often talking about black people with distaste – “a lot of people, mostly black and naked, moved about like ants” (Conrad 80). Blacks are viewed in this time period as pestilent to the world around them.

The story continues with Marlow’s telling of his adventures. Marlow is vigilant, for he allows the “chain-gang” (82) to get out of sight before he continues on, asserting that he is not weak, but saw something in these men that he did not desire to evoke – “I’ve seen the devil of violence, and the devil of greed, and the devil of hot desire; but…these were strong, lusty, red-eyed devils, that swayed and drove men” (82). Marlow says that these men are criminals, not enemies, which surfaces an interesting debate, for is it not a primeval feeling that criminals are enemies, that those who break the law are enemies of the law? By stating that these black men are mere criminals, does Marlow separate himself from traditional European views?

Marlow comes across dying black men in the woods as he makes his way to the station. These men are no longer criminals or enemies; they fade into the air, becoming again the dust they once were. When he arrives at the station, Marlow hears of Mr. Kurtz, the man who is apparently in charge of a very important trading-post. Marlow leaves that station, with a caravan of sixty men, for a two-hundred-mile tramp and meets the general manager, whose smile reveals neither superciliousness nor alacrity and enthusiasm, but rather uneasiness.

One man tried to extract information from Marlow, but he had no idea what he was trying to discover, for he claimed that his head “had nothing in it but that wretched steamboat business” (94). Marlow appears to be an honest man, for he reveals that “there is a taint of death, a flavour of mortality in lies – which is exactly what I hate and detest of the world – what I want to forget” (97).

Marlow accounts that “it seems to me I am trying to tell you a dream – making a vain attempt” (97). It was satisfying when I read this, because it completely describes how I feel when reading this book – completely in a haze. Throughout the entire story, it is truly as if someone is attempting to recount a dream to me but I simply cannot grasp it fully. By the end of this section, though, it can be seen that Marlow cannot wait to meet Kurtz.

PG:

Pestilential (104) – pernicious; harmful

Primeval (96) – of or pertaining to the first age or ages, esp. of the world

Superciliousness (93) – haughtily disdainful or contemptuous, as a person or a facial expression

Alacrity (82) – cheerful readiness, promptness, or willingness

Vigilantly (80) – keenly watchful to detect danger; wary

As If…

As if

Victory came willingly,

Unburdened by the exerted effort,

Free from the shackles of pain

Which forever

Linger,

Never ceasing to push us farther,

Lengthening our stride,

Heightening our jump,

Pulsating through the very rhythm

Of our restless feet

As the promise of success –

Our constant motivator –

Wills us to keep moving

When every aching muscle

Hastily screams otherwise,

Attempting to hinder us

As we strive for one less second,

One more inch,

Which,

When attained,

Is worth all the workouts,

All the torment, time, and dedication,

All the sweat streaming down our faces

And

The thrill that envelopes us

As one hurdle lies between us

And the finish line,

Crying as we heave ourselves across,

A reluctant mixture of joy and pain,

As if we had not loved

Every exhilarating minute of it.

Heart of Darkness 1 – The Sea Calls

Heart of Darkness begins with five men aboard a yawl called The Nellie. Joseph Conrad speaks of the Director of Companies, the Lawyer, the Accountant, and Charlie Marlow. Marlow speaks for the majority of this section, engaging in philosophy, farcical stories, and brooding memories. Marlow delves into a deep monologue addressing men, the sea, light, darkness, and ideas – how the conquest of the earth is not a pretty thing at all, but that its sordid nature is redeemed by the idea. Marlow tells the other sailors of his experiences, his return to London, his childhood passion for maps, and his mission to find the “biggest, the most blank” (71) place on earth. This diaphanous place was, of course, imaginary, and as Marlow grew up, this blank place was filled with “rivers and lakes and names. It had ceased to be a blank space of delightful mystery – …it had become a place of darkness” (71).

In one of his stories, Marlow talks of two women knitting with black wool and says, “Morituri te salutant”, which, in Latin, means, “They who are about to die salute you!” and is now used ironically when beginning a risky activity of uncertain outcome.

There is much description of the sea in the opening of this novella, which is suitable since the characters are on a ship. The sea is the great mystery as well as the great dwelling place of these men, “holding our hearts together through long periods of separation” (60). Seamen owe their perspective to the sea – they fear nothing but the sea itself, for “there is nothing mysterious to a seaman unless it be the sea itself, which is the mistress of his existence and as inscrutable as Destiny” (68).

The tidal current knows all who tread it and the secrets that cannot be hidden from it – “the dreams of men, the seed of commonwealths, the germs of empires” (67). These men live for the sea – the great abundance of water veiled in ultimate mystery.

PG:

Sordid (78) – morally ignoble or base; vile

Farcical (79) – resembling a light, humorous play in which the plot depends upon a skillfully exploited situation rather than upon the development of character

Diaphanous (66) – very sheer and light; almost completely transparent or translucent

Yawl (65) – a ship’s small boat, rowed by a crew of four or six

Brooding (65) –preoccupied with depressing, morbid, or painful memories or thoughts

SL: Ch 17&18 – The Pastor and his Parishioner/A Flood of Sunshine

As Dimmesdale and Hester near each other, their spirits vehemently engage – “it was like the first encounter, in the world beyond the grave, of two spirits who had been intimately connected in their former life, but now stood coldly shuddering, in mutual dread” (172). After being estranged for so long, Dimmesdale takes Hester’s cold hands in his, finally feeling as if they had entered each other’s worlds. He asks Hester if she has found internal peace, for he has not. He firmly believes that “whatever of good capacity there originally was in me, all of God’s gifts that were the choicest have become the ministers of spiritual torment” (174). Hester tells him he is not awful, that he has served his punishment fully, and that his people love and revere him, but Dimmesdale says this merely brings about more pain and that “the contrast between what I seem and what I am” (174) gravely disheartens him. He is sick, figuratively and literally, of living a lie – “thou little knowest what a relief it is, after the torment of a seven years’ cheat, to look into an eye that recognizes me for what I am!” (174). Hester is fully aware of the pain and misery she has caused Dimmesdale to suffer, and he will suffer no more on her watch! Finally, after much delay, Hester reveals Chillingworth’s true identity – “he was my husband!” (176)

Dimmesdale falls to the ground, defeated, angry that Hester had concealed such a secret, but knowing that he had already felt the truth all throughout his body. After dolefully wallowing in the truth for a few moments, Dimmesdale forgives Hester, asserting that there are worse sinners than they, including Chillingworth, whose misanthropy has led him to destroy a man’s life and whose “revenge has been blacker than my sin. He has violated, in cold blood, the sanctity of a human heart” (177). Chillingworth is the true devil, while Hester has overcome her amiss and morphed her punishment into an honor. Hester has acquired strength and boldness unknown to other women, for “the scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers – stern and wild ones – and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss” (182). Dimmesdale believes that his sinful act of the past will forever haunt him, but Hester refutes this thought – “the past is gone! See! With this symbol, I undo it all, and make it as it had never been!” (184) Hester liberates herself from the scarlet letter, and “the burden of shame departed from her spirit; she had not known the weight until she felt the freedom” (185). As her womanhood floods back to her, all of nature around her rejoices and brightens. In aiding Dimmesdale, trying to keep him afloat, Hester actually succeeds in releasing herself from her own strife and finally finds self-forgiveness within her own soul.

PG:

Estranged (173) – to turn away in feeling or affection; make unfriendly or hostile; alienate the affections of; to remove to or keep at a distance

Vehemently (175) – zealous; ardent; impassioned

Misanthropy (175) – hatred, dislike, or distrust of humankind

Dolefully (178) – sorrowful; mournful; melancholy

Amiss (182) – a fault, wrong, or mistake

SL: Ch 15&16 – Hester and Pearl/A Forest Walk

Hester left Chillingworth’s side with hatred instilled in her heart. The asperity of his entire being haunts men and proves deleterious to their beneficence. Did sunlight infiltrate his life at all, or purposefully evade his path? Would he leave malignant footprints imprinted in the mud, “or would he spread bat’s wings and flee away, looking so much the uglier, the higher he rose toward heaven?” (158). This image, although being literal – a bat flying higher in the skies – is actually quite symbolic of Hester’s society, which grows uglier and uglier as it continuously participates in gruesome acts believed to move them closer to heaven’s hallowed gate.

As Pearl plays by herself, she views her own reflection in the water, beckoning at this figure to come and play with her. The figure beckons back, as if to say: come, it is better over here. “Soon finding, however, that either she or the image was unreal, she turned elsewhere for better pastime” (160). This claim, that “either she or the image was unreal”, is ever so enlightening. By simply being a child and engaging in child’s play, Pearl reveals complexities of life’s great mysteries –  is it she or the image she sees which is actually real? Are we, our personal selves, real, or is the image seen by others real? When one does nothing to counter one’s outward representation towards society, does one become it? We are what we do – if one hides one’s true self, then this hidden self is not actually the true portrayal of one’s being, is it?

Pearl looks up to her mother, even though it may not seem so, as all children do. Pearl fashioned her own letter “A” out of seaweed, modeling Hester’s letter. It is ironic that Pearl’s letter is green, for green is opposite of red on the color wheel, which could imply that if Hester epitomizes evil due to her actions, then Pearl epitomizes mercy, hope, and faith. Hester begins to wonder whether Pearl’s fixation with the scarlet letter is more than merely a child’s capricious fancy. Pearl deeply craves the meaning of the scarlet letter, for she has picked up the subtleties between her mother and the minister, aware of a silent link clasping their lives, but unaware of the true connection, as far as we know. As Pearl ages, Hester begins to think that she could potentially be reaching the age where she can be viewed as a friend as well as a daughter – “in the little chaos of Pearl’s character, there might be seen emerging…the steadfast principles of an unflinching courage – an uncontrollable will – a sturdy pride, which might be disciplined into self-respect – and a bitter scorn” (162). Pearl’s curiosity leads her to ask several questions of Hester regarding the Black Man, for she heard that it was he who left the scarlet mark upon her mother’s bosom. Hester, wishing to conceal the truth from Pearl for at least a little longer, makes light of her daughter’s scintillating inquisition, even though it is most definitely not a matter of which to be made light.

PG:

Beneficence (163) – the doing of good; active goodness or kindness; charity

Asperity (164) – harshness or sharpness of tone, temper, or manner; severity; acrimony

Scintillating (166) – animated; vivacious; effervescent

Capricious (161) – subject to, led by, or indicative of caprice or whim; erratic

Deleterious (158) – injurious to health

Malignant (158) – disposed to cause harm, suffering, or distress deliberately; feeling or showing ill will or hatred

SL: Ch 15&16 – Hester and Pearl/A Forest Walk

Hester left Chillingworth’s side with hatred instilled in her heart. The asperity of his entire being haunts men and proves deleterious to their beneficence. Did sunlight infiltrate his life at all, or purposefully evade his path? Would he leave malignant footprints imprinted in the mud, “or would he spread bat’s wings and flee away, looking so much the uglier, the higher he rose toward heaven?” (158). This image, although being literal – a bat flying higher in the skies – is actually quite symbolic of Hester’s society, which grows uglier and uglier as it continuously participates in gruesome acts believed to move them closer to heaven’s hallowed gate.

As Pearl plays by herself, she views her own reflection in the water, beckoning at this figure to come and play with her. The figure beckons back, as if to say: come, it is better over here. “Soon finding, however, that either she or the image was unreal, she turned elsewhere for better pastime” (160). This claim, that “either she or the image was unreal”, is ever so enlightening. By simply being a child and engaging in child’s play, Pearl reveals complexities of life’s great mysteries –  is it she or the image she sees which is actually real? Are we, our personal selves, real, or is the image seen by others real? When one does nothing to counter one’s outward representation towards society, does one become it? We are what we do – if one hides one’s true self, then this hidden self is not actually the true portrayal of one’s being, is it?

Pearl looks up to her mother, even though it may not seem so, as all children do. Pearl fashioned her own letter “A” out of seaweed, modeling Hester’s letter. It is ironic that Pearl’s letter is green, for green is opposite of red on the color wheel, which could imply that if Hester epitomizes evil due to her actions, then Pearl epitomizes mercy, hope, and faith. Hester begins to wonder whether Pearl’s fixation with the scarlet letter is more than merely a child’s capricious fancy. Pearl deeply craves the meaning of the scarlet letter, for she has picked up the subtleties between her mother and the minister, aware of a silent link clasping their lives, but unaware of the true connection, as far as we know. As Pearl ages, Hester begins to think that she could potentially be reaching the age where she can be viewed as a friend as well as a daughter – “in the little chaos of Pearl’s character, there might be seen emerging…the steadfast principles of an unflinching courage – an uncontrollable will – a sturdy pride, which might be disciplined into self-respect – and a bitter scorn” (162). Pearl’s curiosity leads her to ask several questions of Hester regarding the Black Man, for she heard that it was he who left the scarlet mark upon her mother’s bosom. Hester, wishing to conceal the truth from Pearl for at least a little longer, makes light of her daughter’s scintillating inquisition, even though it is most definitely not a matter of which to be made light.

PG:

Beneficence (163) – the doing of good; active goodness or kindness; charity

Asperity (164) – harshness or sharpness of tone, temper, or manner; severity; acrimony

Scintillating (166) – animated; vivacious; effervescent

Capricious (161) – subject to, led by, or indicative of caprice or whim; erratic

Deleterious (158) – injurious to health

Malignant (158) – disposed to cause harm, suffering, or distress deliberately; feeling or showing ill will or hatred